The Simon Family Blog

A day at Sandy Beach (original name, I know), Acadia National Park

2008-08-07T22:53:00.002-04:00

Where else can you find mountains as the back drop of a beach? This outfit didn't stay this way, either. Within minutes of these photos, Chloe was naked and running straight into the bay.

A day in Bah Hahbah, ME

2008-08-07T22:47:00.000-04:00

2008-08-07T22:45:00.000-04:00

Chloe meets snail.

2008-08-07T22:43:00.000-04:00

Chloe eats snail.

2008-08-07T21:58:00.000-04:00

Chloe barfs snail.

Wondering where the wild blueberry fairies live?

2008-08-07T21:35:00.003-04:00

Yes, little Chloe, Wild Blueberry land is real, and its located in Jonesport, ME. In fact, its pretty much the only thing in Jonesport, ME. Located in this half-spherical, all-magical building behind me is every and all things blueberry. If you can think of a noun, it was modified by the adjective 'blueberry' within this igloo-azul. Too much to mention in this post, I'll leave it to your imagination. If you can think of it, they had it, and it tasted or looked like blueberries.

And the walls came tumbling down...

2008-07-07T19:36:00.008-04:00

We are into week 2 of the demo of our apartment. Week 1 was spent mostly walking around the walls, knocking on them, looking at blue prints, staring at the blueprints or the floor, maybe even squatting by a radiator, then staring at the ceiling from this squatted position. Week 2 actually saw some action.

The pic with the stove in it shows what the hall looked like before. That stove is in roughly the same spot it will be in once everything is finished. The wall in front of the cart was torn down, exposing what once was our kitchen. And by kitchen, I mean we plugged in a fridge and microwave in that old room. The shovel is in the spot where a door will be cut and where the new bathroom will go. "P" and "M" are codes for different paint colors or at least I have been told they are different colors. Not sure which one we are using, we'll just call it beige.

The picture with the ladder in it shows 1 of the 3 bedrooms that will be created, formerly our living room. That broken wall will be moved about 4 feet to the right, opening up the living room even more. The black fire alarm bell on the wall is on the oposite side of the wall, if you need a reference point. You also get a veiw of the wall of windows that will run down the side of the kitchen and living room. Lots of light.

The other picture of the pile of debris on the floor is one I took to use in our lawsuit against the contractors. The assured my laying down plastic would be enough to protect the rugs we wanted to save, and that nothing would fall on the floor anyway, that they were "that good" at demo. We'll call this pic exhibit A. "Your Honor, we emptied 2 whole boxes of saran wrap on the floor, there really wasn't much else we could have done."

What's wrong with this picture?

2008-04-21T21:44:00.003-04:00

Trivia Answer at bottom of column.

Steph and I have been ushered into the next phase of parenting. As cute as she is, Chloe is also fast, sneaky, and has powers of invisibility. She's like a ninja covered in crumbs. Her new trick is taking dad's wallet off the shelf and strewing the contents around the apartment. Its a fun game, especially when dad gets to the front of the line at the supermarket and doesn't have his debit card, only to find it in the pack-n-play. She also was apparently born with Inspector Gadget arms, able to extend well past normal lengths and grab items n0t meant to be grabbed. Favorites include half full coffee cups, computer cords, charging cell phones, and Brodie's ears. We have taken a seminar on rod-sparing and child spoiling, and needless to say, Steph and I are not into sparing or spoiling. Hopefully our methods will bear fruit in the long run. We have already seen small changes in Chloe, she's stopped swearing and no longer makes long distance phone calls without permission.

Trivia Answer- I'm not left handed.

Chloe and Mama

2008-04-21T21:30:00.003-04:00

Chloe and Mama

2008-04-21T21:30:00.000-04:00

Starting early

2008-04-21T21:28:00.003-04:00

HAM IT UP!

2008-04-16T17:21:00.004-04:00

Chloe was hamming it up for my dad this weekend and just loved being in the spotlight of the camera. watch out Hollywood!

Sketch of the child

2008-04-16T11:26:00.003-04:00

So here is a little sketch of Chloe that I did (not quite finished). I was thinking that portraits might be a good way to make a buck...so if any of you out there want to help a mother out send me your pics and you too can own your very own Stephanie Simon original!

Flower Child

2008-04-16T11:10:00.015-04:00

Yesterday was one of the first warm days and Chloe's first experience with grass and flowers. She was ecstatic! With each new little flower she laughed and smiled as if it was the best thing she's ever seen.
It was adorable.

Taking Eva for a Spin

2008-03-20T15:26:00.002-04:00

Chloe (9 months) decided she and Cousin Eva (6 months) needed to get out so she packed Eva in the walker and busted out.

Winter Walk

2008-02-23T22:59:00.007-05:00

Hmmm..What is this author trying to convey?

2008-02-16T22:10:00.007-05:00

Fun in the Poconos

2008-02-16T21:42:00.002-05:00

Karl and I had the pleasure of meeting up with some of our old friends with their new children in the Poconos this weekend. So great to catch up and see how my friends make great moms. Here we are with our babes. We're so old! -Steph

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY BABY!!

2008-02-14T11:14:00.004-05:00

Wild Child

2008-01-25T20:13:00.000-05:00

Steph and I went to a BTA Fundraiser and Cousin Alaina baby sat. Since Chloe doesn't know Alaini that well and is having major separation anxiety issues, needless to say she was a bit upset while we were gone. Alaina used baby massage to soothe Chloe to sleep- a skill I have yet to master. Once she woke up and realized we were still gone, Chloe (while crying) crawled across the floor to where Brodie was lying and burried her head in his fur and cried into his stomach. So, to recap, the order in which she lists her soothie choices is as follows:
1. Steph
2. Alaina, a virtual stranger
3. Brodie, a dog
4. me

That's a shot to the ol' self esteem, huh?

Trojan Horse

2008-01-21T15:37:00.000-05:00

Last year, for our unit on the Ilaid and the Odyssey, we glued popsicle sticks onto donkey pinatas to make trojan horses. This year, with the help of Dave, we're going to do something a little bit different.

Month 3 of the TV writer's strike

2008-01-18T21:36:00.001-05:00

Chloe can only take so much reality TV.

Just Joan

2008-01-18T21:06:00.001-05:00

This is my friend Joan. She is an opera singer and now that she has moved to New York and become spaghetti skinny, she is too cool to call back, at least more than once a year. Joan- if your stalking this blog, stop doing so and call me. :)

By the way, 2 words for you to feel good about the single life: Mummy Tummy. It happens.

ps. even though this says it's posted by Karl, it's Steph. I assure you Karl's abs are as flat as ever.

Eventful afternoon

2008-01-10T19:46:00.000-05:00

Dear Diary,

Today one of my worst fears came to fruition. I got stuck in an elevator. I suppose it served me right for taking an elevator rather than going down one flight of stairs, but my theory had always been why walk when you can ride? Never again. As the door closed behind me I felt an impending sense of doom as my thoughts started down a dark path. Why am I not going anywhere? Why isn't the door opening? I'm trapped! Trapped! So this is how it will all end for me- in BTA's elevator. I suppose I could stand to starve for a couple days...but what about my baby!? Look at her, so unknowing and calm, when her life is teetering in the balance. Stay calm. Baby Jessica could do it- so can I.
Thankfully it was Karl who heard me ringing the alarm buzzer I was laying on, followed by Tim Wiens, the Headmaster. After giggling quietly at my unfortunate predicament, the two realized that being stuck inside a elevator might not be the best place for a beautiful damsel in destress and her 7 month old.

Once the doors were pried open, about 15 minutes later, Karl and Tim found me sitting on the elevator floor, rubbing sticks together to start a fire for warmth and setting up a freshwater still to catch rainfall that might drip down the elevator shaft. Chloe had also gone into full survival mode, rationing her apple sauce jar and keeping herself calm by gnawing on a book.

So diary, I guess the moral of this story is always choose the stairs, and if you absolutely must take the elevator, use the bathroom first. Or wear a diaper.

Love,

Steph

Musings II

2008-01-10T19:30:00.001-05:00

I would like the world to know that the kid aint the only one who can roll over, droll, and pass gasses that could be used as nerve agents. Lets all just settle down over this kid and remember just who came first in this fam- the ol Brode-man.

2008-01-10T19:19:00.000-05:00

Too much eggnog?

Chloe takes down dad with a fart to the neck....

2007-12-29T18:17:00.000-05:00

So innocent. So sweet. Yet, some how, some way, she pinned me down and farted on my face.

Happy Birthday...

2007-12-28T20:06:00.000-05:00

...to the best step-mom in the world. Love Karl and Steph. (Kara had no part in this, so don't give her any credit. It was all me. ALL ME!)

Google helps the Simon's quest for World Domination

2007-12-28T13:57:00.000-05:00

We've hit the big time, and it only took Google 3 days to pick up the happenings of this family. If you google search for The Simon Family blog, we are the #1 hit out of exactly 654,000 items. Just look down the page after 6 entries and there we are- #1 after only six entries! And 4 of the entries are from 2 of the same blogs so really we are #1 after only 3 entries! But I'm not counting one of them because the hits on "Simon" is from the name of a building, which my google bot pictured above will most likely destroy. So now we are down to 2 blogs, but after those, we are #1.

So, to recap, it only took our humble little blog only 3 days, possibly less, to rocket up the charts, pass 653,998 other useless websites that do not register 100% with the exact entry The Simon Family Blog when entered into Google, and begin its reign in cyberspace. Imagine what it will do once I figure out how to post videos...

When boiled down, there is no excuse...

2007-12-27T18:43:00.000-05:00

#5 is actually true.

Brodie reacts to the TV writer's strike

2007-12-25T22:21:00.000-05:00

Favorite Shows Affected:
The Dog Whisperer
Animal Planet- Wolves and Their Prey
Saturday Night Live
Law and Order
The Office

Nobody likes a pouter. Or reruns.

Super Powers

2007-12-25T21:15:00.000-05:00

I've taken notice of a few things in my lifetime. For one, my eyes get red when I get tired or when I am pooping. Secondly, if I had a nickel every time I get a kiss from mom and dad AFTER I get licked all over from Brodie, I would have a nice cushion in my 529 plan. Thirdly, although I am well aware that to fully help a country rebuild, there needs to be a military presence, but when is enough enough over there? But I digress. I would like to take this forum to dispel the myth that I don't actually have baby finger nails, that I have some super human appendages made of titanium, not keratin. Yes, it is true that I have sent dad to work with everything from minor scratches to full blown bloody gouges. Students point, teachers laugh, but I'm getting a bad wrap here. I've heard the whispers- "She's cute, but she has talons," "Sweetie pie-watch your eye" and as well as being compared to the X Man Wolverine as played by the talented and devilish handsome Hugh Jackman. I don't see any resemblance. Do you?

Musings

2007-12-25T20:52:00.000-05:00

Now that I have been allowed to use the computer (my phone privileges were taken away) I would like to share some holiday cheer giving you my life of my favorite things, and more specifically, the favorite things I have eaten that are not edible. Editors note- all of these items have been eaten and passed and found in random places around the school yard. I have enclosed a picture of my confidant, Griswold, who keeps a look out for adults when I'm getting into things I shouldn't be.

I will be logging on with thoughts in the future, but I wanted to start of light, especially since the yard was just cleaned and this topic is fresh on my mind (and on someone else's shoes)

10. A plastic football (regulation size-ripped into pieces, of course. I'm not a pelican.)

9. A baby bib

8. Baby socks (5 of them)

7. Tin foil balls

6. A dish towel

5. Foam insulation

4. The stuffing of an entire pillow. Griswold helped with that one.

3. Glass. Yup. Glass.

2. A small toothbrush (found whole in the yard.)

1. A squeaky toy Christmas tree.

Dog Accessories?

2007-12-25T20:13:00.000-05:00

Nothing says Christmas like antlers purchased at Petco.

Three Amigos

2007-12-25T19:46:00.000-05:00

"El Guapo is an infamous dictator. Infamous? And We were called to perform for him? Thats great! That's like, like, more than famous"- Steve Martin, The Three Amigos

Yes, these three will more than likely grow up to be infamous, in the "more than famous" way. I project breaking vases and bay windows, hearts, goal scoring records, more hearts, and the glass ceiling. (Not necessarily in that order.)

With the southern cousins (SoCo's) moving up in the spring, Chloe is anxiously awaiting hanging out with the ladies. Swinging on swings, lemonade in the hammock, crying fits in the mall and other public places...All good things.

2/3 of Chloe's Grandparents

2007-12-25T19:16:00.001-05:00

Chloe's first Christmas

2007-12-25T10:49:00.000-05:00

Hello to all the extended Simon family! This blog will be a way for all of our friends and family to stay connected with the Simon's (who are we kidding, you want to see Chloe) throughout the year. Hopefully either Steph or I will find time to update this page on a semi-regular basis with the latest news from Boston. Upcoming stories include but are not limited to:

1. Stuff Chloe is eating

2. Stuff Brodie is eating

3. Stuff Chloe tries to eat while Brodie is currently eating it.

4. Growing pains- the repeated rising and falling of Chloe

5. The Middle East

Since this is my first shot at posting on the interweb, I plan on making several mistakes. I do have Al Gore's Internet for Dummies in my lap and I'm following it ver batim. However, each chapter starts off with planting a tree first, so this may take a while to master.