Chloe takes down dad with a fart to the neck....

So innocent. So sweet. Yet, some how, some way, she pinned me down and farted on my face.

Happy Birthday...

...to the best step-mom in the world. Love Karl and Steph. (Kara had no part in this, so don't give her any credit. It was all me. ALL ME!) 

Google helps the Simon's quest for World Domination

We've hit the big time, and it only took Google 3 days to pick up the happenings of this family. If you google search for The Simon Family blog, we are the #1 hit out of exactly 654,000 items. Just look down the page after 6 entries and there we are- #1 after only six entries! And 4 of the entries are from 2 of the same blogs so really we are #1 after only 3 entries! But I'm not counting one of them because the hits on "Simon" is from the name of a building, which my google bot pictured above will most likely destroy. So now we are down to 2 blogs, but after those, we are #1. 

So, to recap, it only took our humble little blog only 3 days, possibly less, to rocket up the charts, pass 653,998 other useless websites that do not register 100% with the exact entry The Simon Family Blog when entered into Google, and begin its reign in cyberspace. Imagine what it will do once I figure out how to post videos...

When boiled down, there is no excuse...

       

      

#5 is actually true.

Brodie reacts to the TV writer's strike

Favorite Shows Affected:
The Dog Whisperer
Animal Planet- Wolves and Their Prey
Saturday Night Live
Law and Order
The Office

Nobody likes a pouter. Or reruns.

Super Powers

I've taken notice of a few things in my lifetime. For one, my eyes get red when I get tired or when I am pooping. Secondly, if I had a nickel every time I get a kiss from mom and dad AFTER I get licked all over from Brodie, I would have a nice cushion in my 529 plan. Thirdly, although I am well aware that to fully help a country rebuild, there needs to be a military presence, but when is enough enough over there? But I digress. I would like to take this forum to dispel the myth that I don't actually have baby finger nails, that I have some super human appendages made of titanium, not keratin. Yes, it is true that I have sent dad to work with everything from minor scratches to full blown  bloody gouges. Students point, teachers laugh, but I'm getting a bad wrap here. I've heard the whispers- "She's cute, but she has talons," "Sweetie pie-watch your eye" and as well as being compared to the X Man Wolverine as played by the talented and devilish handsome Hugh Jackman. I don't see any resemblance. Do you?

Musings

Now that I have been allowed to use the computer (my phone privileges were taken away) I would like to share some holiday cheer giving you my life of my favorite things, and more specifically, the favorite things I have eaten that are not edible. Editors note- all of these items have been eaten and passed and found in random places around the school yard. I have enclosed a picture of my confidant, Griswold, who keeps a look out for adults when I'm getting into things I shouldn't be. 

I will be logging on with thoughts in the future, but I wanted to start of light, especially since the yard was just cleaned and this topic is fresh on my mind (and on someone else's shoes)

10. A plastic football (regulation size-ripped into pieces, of course. I'm not a pelican.)

9. A baby bib

8. Baby socks (5 of them)

7. Tin foil balls

6. A dish towel

5. Foam insulation

 4. The stuffing of an entire pillow. Griswold helped with that one.

3. Glass. Yup. Glass.

2. A small toothbrush (found whole in the yard.)

1. A squeaky toy Christmas tree.

Dog Accessories?

Nothing says Christmas like antlers purchased at Petco. 

Three Amigos

"El Guapo is an infamous dictator. Infamous? And We were called to perform for him? Thats great! That's like, like, more than famous"- Steve Martin, The Three Amigos

Yes, these three will more than likely grow up to be infamous, in the "more than famous" way. I project breaking vases and bay windows, hearts, goal scoring records, more hearts, and the glass ceiling. (Not necessarily in that order.)

With the southern cousins (SoCo's) moving up in the spring, Chloe is anxiously awaiting hanging out with the ladies. Swinging on swings, lemonade in the hammock, crying fits in the mall and other public places...All good things.   

2/3 of Chloe's Grandparents

Chloe's first Christmas

Hello to all the extended Simon family! This blog will be a way for all of our friends and family to stay connected with the Simon's (who are we kidding, you want to see Chloe) throughout the year. Hopefully either Steph or I will find time to update this page on a semi-regular basis with the latest news from Boston. Upcoming stories include but are not limited to:

1. Stuff Chloe is eating

2. Stuff Brodie is eating

3. Stuff Chloe tries to eat while Brodie is currently eating it.

4. Growing pains- the repeated rising and  falling of Chloe

5. The Middle East

Since this is my first shot at posting on the interweb, I plan on making several mistakes. I do have Al Gore's Internet for Dummies in my lap and I'm following it ver batim. However, each chapter starts off with planting a tree first, so this may take a while to master.